Meet The Chaos Disruptor – Sibylle Stehli

Instead of picking up the keys, I found my hand being placed on the phone next to the keys and it was that seemingly random act that stopped me in my tracks.

What was my hand doing there?

I didn’t put it there. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to live.

I wanted to get out of the house and I wanted to get away from my husband and young children.

I wanted this life to be over and everything.

I wanted it to end because really deep down inside, I felt like I didn’t deserve to live.

Surely my family would be better off without me.

Surely life would be better off without me, was what I was thinking at the time.

But there was something greater than me. This force that I now know was God that put my hand on the phone.

We live in a chaotic world and all have a kind of chaos within us. This chaos can disrupt our lives and lead to inner turmoil.

Enter The Chaos Disruptor, Sibylle Stehli

VIDEO:   Meet The Chaos Disruptor, Sibylle Stehli

PODCAST: Meet The Chaos Disruptor, Sibylle Stehli

TRANSCRIPT: 

[00:00:50] Lauren Kinghorn: Hi, everyone. It’s Lauren Kinghorn here and today I’m sitting with the magical Sibylle Stehli.

Sibylle calls herself the Chaos Disruptor.

I’ve had an amazing couple of sessions with Sibylle as she was evolving into The Chaos Disruptor, so I’m really excited to hear exactly what the Chaos Disruptor is all about.

So fire away Sibylle.

Why Do We Need a Chaos Disruptor?

[00:01:18] Sibylle Stehli: A lot of us don’t realize that we have a lot of chaos going inside of us. Life these days, the world out there, everything we hear, we see, we getting into contact with, we’ve been challenged with just feels so harsh and chaotic on a lot of levels.

And we don’t have to be spiritual to know that. We can just be living in this normal reality we’re living in. And just being in this reality, being human, we are in that chaos that is happening in the world. It doesn’t mean we have to be of that chaos. It just means we are being in the chaos, right?

Often things are just carrying on in a normal way and we go through our every day and we have that autopilot that comes on in the morning and we go to bed at night and so it carries on.

So we think, well, everything’s ordered, everything’s fine, you know. And if we do have chaos, we sometimes don’t know what the causes are. We see things going on in the outside world. We think that is chaos, but there’s an internal chaos that can happen as well when there’s dis-regulation, when there’s disharmony.

And some of us also don’t want to admit to ourselves that our life is chaotic. Because in some way we might look at that as then we’re failing, or if I don’t have this chaos, then who am I? And the other reason why we sometimes don’t want to admit we have the chaos, and that was a lot in my scenario.

When that moment came, when the chaos that I had inside nearly disrupted my life for good, we don’t know where to start finding the solutions. We don’t know what we are looking for, let alone how we go about finding a solution for what we’re not even really admitting its there. And that in itself is a form of chaos.

That’s not bringing peace and harmony on any level.

What Does the Chaos Disruptor Do?

[00:03:07] Lauren Kinghorn: So as The Chaos Disruptor, what do you do then?

[00:03:13] Sibylle Stehli: When you feel that there’s no solution, I do have a solution, right? And there are three questions that will disrupt the causes of chaos you are experiencing in your daily life. And I know that’s a really bold thing to say. So I’ve set up a quiz with three questions and by answering these three simple questions, you get introduced to your specific chaos profile.

So there’s 27 different ones. And, what a chaos profile means. It’s actually an archetypal energy that you have that is revealing to you. How are you creating the chaos for yourself and your life? And it doesn’t mean that you are stuck in that one, right? So if you identify as one of them out of the 27, it’s not that you are going to be staying stuck there.

These different archetypal energies, chaos energies, they surface in our lives at different times because they’re here to show us something, to help us to evolve, right? So it’s not set in stone. And as you evolve, your archetypal structure will evolve as well.

And so also, it’s not all bad news, just in case you’re wondering, because there is a heartfelt message in your archetype, in your profile, that gives you the tips that you can start implementing them immediately.

So, I know that you’ve gone in and you’ve checked out which one you are. Would you like to share from your experience what that was like for you and if there was anything that you learned out of what you read?

[00:04:54] Lauren Kinghorn: Well, what’s really funny is yesterday I did the three questions. And, my chaos disruptor archetype at the moment is The Staller.

And I thought, wow, okay, how am I the Staller? And then I started the Zoom call today. And we just couldn’t get it going. Zoom was doing an update. Maybe my computer was also doing some kind of update in the background and I couldn’t get onto Zoom at the right time. So I saw the Staller in action but I know that we’re talking about bigger things and deeper things. And it’s not just about this one moment.

The best thing we did was that short meditation you did before going in, where I could breathe a sigh of relief and realize, it’s all okay. Everything is as it should be.

We can relax into this. So I really did feel The Chaos Disruptor in action when we did that short session.

And nobody knows what time we started our interview. It doesn’t matter. So letting go of the little things and realizing we’re both here, we’re present and being 100 percent present is all that matters.

In your story, you mentioned something about your own personal story.

So I’d love to dial back and go back to that.

How Did You Become The Chaos Disruptor?

Was there some kind of defining moment that led you to become The Chaos Disruptor? How did this evolve for you?

[00:06:21] Sibylle Stehli: Okay. So we are going back a few years. It was back in 2000 so it was a while ago and I’m just going to go into the story as it happened for me, because there was so much that was going on and it’ll really put into context, the kind of chaos that I’ve been working through because that day in 2000 was literally the day that I was going to disrupt my life for good.

There was a point where I came to where there was a point of no return.

So it was a regular Monday morning for everybody else, not for me, because this was the day I had planned to take my own life. And knowing what I was about to do, I wondered whether I was brave enough to go ahead with my plan.

And it was as if in answer that the despair and the pain of living as an ill, overweight, miserable, depressed woman who felt herself to be a burden to her family and to her life. All of that began to surface. And the torment of leaving and never coming home again was literally tearing me apart inside because I realized I would never again share time with family and friends.

I would never hear my children’s laughter and I would never feel the love in their hugs.

And so I walked past the empty rooms after having done school drop off for the last time and I just whispered into each of their rooms,

I’m so sorry. I love you. Goodbye.

And with heavy feet and heart full of guilt and shame burdened by what I was about to do (and I didn’t see any other way out at the time), I walked into the home office to pick up the car keys that were lying on the desk by the window.

I didn’t notice the clear blue sky or hear the birds singing outside because this was no ordinary day for me.

Life didn’t matter anymore and my life didn’t matter anymore.

And so the nervousness from my gut rose up and my hand shook as I reached out to pick up those keys and do what I had so meticulously planned over the past few weeks.

I would get into my car and drive off the cliff from one of the most beautiful roads in South Africa. That was my plan.

Instead of picking up the keys, I found my hand being placed on the phone next to the keys and it was that seemingly random act that stopped me in my tracks. What was my hand doing there?

I didn’t put it there. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to live.

I wanted to get out of the house and I wanted to get away from my husband and young children. I wanted this life to be over and everything. I wanted it to end because really deep down inside, I felt like I didn’t deserve to live.

Surely my family would be better off without me. Surely life would be better off without me, was what I was thinking at the time, but there was something greater than me.

This force that I now know was God that put my hand. on the phone.

And from somewhere in my head, I heard a voice asking,

Why are you being so selfish?

Why are you thinking only of yourself when you’ve got so much to live for?

And the words sounded like they were reverberating through this empty, hollow shell that I’d become.

And so in my head, I sadly replied,

What is a seemingly perfect life on the outside matter when I feel like I’m dying inside?

A caring husband, two children, a private school, a successful career and a new home mean absolutely nothing when I feel that I’m a burden to them and to life.

They deserve something better than what I have become.

And I was in turmoil inside and everything seemed so surreal because this was not what I had planned.

It felt like someone other than me went through the motions of picking up the receiver and dialing my husband’s work number. And the disembodied words I said to him were,

I can’t go to work today. If I get in that car, I’m not coming home tonight. I don’t want to live anymore.

And from that same far off place, I heard his voice asking me to promise to stay put. He was going to make a call and he would phone me back in five minutes.

And he asked me if I could do that for him to wait just for five minutes. And somehow I heard myself saying I could and I disbelievingly replaced the receiver and in complete shock, I found myself sitting on the floor feeling as if that unplanned call for help had somehow broken something open inside me because the desolation and grief of living this lonely, miserable life that I had held so tightly inside.

It finally had permission to just break free and the tears streamed down my face as I sat there, unable to move.

I was still wondering what had just happened because in the plan in my head, this was not how things should have turned out. B

But we all know what happens when we’re making plans. Life makes and God makes other plans, right?

So my husband did phone me after five minutes. I’m here today.

He told me that he’d called a homeopath and that she would see me immediately. And what I didn’t know then but I came to find out afterwards is that he had reached out to her because she had recently saved our daughter’s life and he knew I trusted her.

And so he called her because he now trusted her with my life.

And Lauren, to tell you the honest truth, having the courage to get into that car and go for help, and not driving off the cliff that day was an act of choosing to live. It was an act of having the courage to be me because God knew something that I didn’t know that day.

And even though I couldn’t see it then, in time, I came to understand that I had to be here.

I had to live because I am here to help others disrupt the cause of chaos in their lives that would otherwise bring them to a moment that’s not too different to mine.

I also realized, and I came to know that I was given a second chance when I was stopped from disrupting my life for good.

And so the day that was supposed to end my life was in fact the beginning of a transformative healing journey.

And very slowly, very, very slowly, I started coming back to life. And that is, I know now, 24 years later, what I am actually here to do.

It’s Like a Pattern Interrupt

[00:13:18] Lauren Kinghorn: So it’s not just chaos you’re disrupting. You’re here to save people from the brink. That is amazing.

Ooh, that was a very, very touching story.  I’m not really sure where to go from there.

[00:13:49] Sibylle Stehli: Well, the word that is coming to me, it’s like a pattern interrupt.

So the best way I can describe that is, It’s a story that’s meant to do that. Because we go through, like I said, in the beginning, we go through life on autopilot, right?

So what I mean with the pattern interrupt is:

Imagine you sitting in your car and there’s quite a bit of traffic and you’re at this red traffic light, right?  And the other way has got the green light. So they’re busy going and you’re just sitting there in your car, mind’s wandering, you sometimes don’t even know how you get where you got because your mind is somewhere else and you’re not focusing on driving.

And you’re at this traffic light and your mind is still doing its thing and suddenly coming in the road across in front of you, there’s this huge truck and it’s got this really bright, bold advert on the side with this really catching phrase and you do this and you go,

Oh, that’s really interesting.  That was actually quite clever. I wonder who did that marketing? That’s really, really good.

Cause sometimes the ads play on the words, right? And that is what I mean with a patent interrupt.

So it literally interrupts or disrupts the autopilot mode we are all so easily caught up in.

And even in a conversation like this, it has the power to be able to stop you and to say like, okay, there were so many parts that somebody might have related to in that story, there could be very many different things going inside and that is what’s showing what is chaotic.

It’s showing what is being disrupted. It’s a gift and a blessing.

And after so many years of having been on the healing path from that moment and obviously everything that led up to it, I know it’s here and it’s here to serve a purpose and it’s here to be a blessing for the others because the blessing I received that day was to be given life again, and that is a miracle in itself.

And if somehow the story can be a miracle and a blessing for those that happen to come across it exactly when they need it, even though they might not know why, then that is why it is out there and that is why I am here.

It took me a while to figure out what I needed to do after, having to get into the car and go for help was like, well, that interrupted my entire pattern because I had my day planned.

And that was how it was going to be. And that just did not happen.

The Courage to Be Me

[00:16:25] Lauren Kinghorn: And I can imagine it wasn’t just that one moment where you had to make the decision to live, but each morning waking up after that for a long time, you had to make the decision again, I’m going to live. It’s never a one and done thing when you’re at the brink like that.

[00:16:44] Sibylle Stehli: No. And also when you go on a healing journey and you come across something that can help you, it’s not a band aid that you can say, okay, I’ve dealt with that and it’s fixed now. It’s not that.

And like you say, it is a choice I had to make so often. And I wrote the book, eight years ago, The Courage to Be Me.

And in that I talk about having to make that choice over and over and over again, because one goes into the dark night of the soul. I call it the dark night of the human because the soul is always in light. It’s us that goes through the dark parts, right?

Because mine is really an extreme story, right?  And not everyone’s going to be at that same kind of depth of that crisis point.

And yet every crisis point that we come across has got layers attached to it of what brought us there. Because if we had known what was going wrong at the time or what we needed to look at, we wouldn’t be at a crisis point.

The crisis point is exactly that pattern interrupt like the truck going past in front of us in the traffic.

What Happens in a Session with The Chaos Disruptor?

[00:17:50] Lauren Kinghorn: Yes. So when you’re working with a client, so how would this play out?

I know how my session was. I remember the first session I felt like it was absolutely enlightening. You took me through a process and I can’t even remember exactly what all happened, but afterwards I just felt this tremendous sense of peace, clarity, joy.

I felt safer. I felt this hope. I felt hopeful because what we uncovered in that session was that I’d had this unacknowledged… I didn’t know that I was fearing this, I didn’t know what was holding me back in my progress… but it was that I felt that my dreams, my big dreams and desires and what I want to accomplish in life felt too big for me.

I felt they were not something I could actually ever accomplish. And that was mind blowing to realize that that’s what I thought.

And it totally shifted me and a whole lot of things unfolded after that time.

Related:  Sibylle’s amazing sessions came up in this discussion as well.

This was six months ago, it’s been six months that we’ve been planning this interview. And so much has changed.

I went from one branding that I’d created online and one way that I was seeing the world, a way that I was seeing my coaching practice opening up, and I’ve moved to a completely different way.

And it’s much more me, it’s much more who I really am and what I came to do in this world.

I remember thinking to myself, I’ve got this book that I’m writing, but it isn’t the real book that I would write if I was writing a book to leave as a legacy for my children and their children’s children to read.  And so I totally changed tack.

I’m also on my own journey now because of the work that we did together.  It was really, really deep inner work, but that was when you had just become a Certified Intuitive Intelligence Method Practitioner.

And I think that’s part of what you do now. But now I’m interested to know as The Chaos Disruptor, now that you know who you are and what you do in this world, how will you work with someone? Will it be different to the sessions that I had?

[00:20:10] Sibylle Stehli: If I remember correctly, you had two different kinds of sessions. You had what we call The Method sessions. So I have trained extensively now through the Institute of intuitive Intelligence in Australia with Dr. Ricky Jane Adams, and we have this term that she’s now trained us to be The Fear Huntresses, right?

Because the bottom of everything we have that kind of chaos in our lives or any chaos in our lives. There’s fear programming in our subconscious that is busy sabotaging us. And if we knew what it was, it would be great, but we don’t know what it is. It’s in that 95 percent that we don’t have access to in our everyday waking world.

So there’s different ways that I can work with people.

What I’ve found in working with the clients that have done the quiz and are doing the sessions and that, we’ve got to start at a point where we are going after those fears that are sabotaging us.

Because chaos in our outside world brings up a lot of the fears on the inside. There’s a lot of fear programming being given to us every day on the radio and the TV and what we’re reading and social media and all of that.  So it tends to start at that point.

I basically can identify with whatever your situation, your current life event is. I’m able to go in and identify, with your permission, of course, go in and identify what is the deepest, dominant, negative self-belief that is busy causing whatever it is that you’re experiencing.

And then we work with 13 specific archetypes and each of them has a light form and a shadow form.

So we look at how that negative belief that I’ve been able to identify is literally playing out in your life. I also look at your auric field and I will pick up from that auric field or what we call the subtle anatomy, which is your chakras and your aura, everything, how it’s busy impacting that, so which of your chakras are affected.

We then go into what the instigating event is. Now, People call that different things. Like I know Brandon Bays calls it a DNA memory and other people call it a past life and whatever, whichever word is right. But we go into that, that moment where that fear belief was put in place, right?

And because we’ve done all of that, we also go through into the Akash. We go into the Akashic library and we’re able to integrate and harmonize all the parts and do whatever is required in the Akash to have peace and completion and to let that belief go. And I go through teaching you how you can work with your beliefs as well.

Any others that are busy coming up so that by the time we finish the session, whatever that negative fear belief was right at the beginning and using all the information I’m busy reading from your energy field, together with tapping and together with breathing practices, we are able to move that out of your subconscious, out of your subtle anatomy or auric field completely so that it does not have a hold on you anymore.

It no longer is available. So that is what we do. And I do have the option where people can work on a longer term with me and then we would then those are 90 minute sessions that are then completely tailored as into what is ongoing and what is coming up that needs to be looked at because it’s like you said, it’s not a once off thing.  It’s a process.

So that is the way that I would work with in over longer term and that is completely intuitively guided with each session that that we schedule.

And they can do it over three months or six months and it’s really a way to then start really letting go of a lot of those deep underlying saboteurs so that we can become conscious creators of our lives and we’re not creating our lives from a defaulted, wrong programming.

And it’s not making anybody wrong. It’s not making our childhoods wrong. It’s not making anything wrong.

It’s just that which we have been programmed and conditioned with is now no longer serving us. And I have lots of tools now in my toolkit that I can help people to be able to do that.

How Do You Work With The Chaos Disruptor Profiles?

[00:24:37] Lauren Kinghorn: Wow, that’s amazing. So now that you have the quiz and the three questions and somebody comes to you. So I have, for example, The Staller that has come up as the current archetype. How would you work? How would the session look now?

[00:24:54] Sibylle Stehli: Well, when you read through what your profile is, there’s a lot of different aspects that I go on into your specific profile, right?

So the first thing we would need to determine is what is currently going in your life that you want to shift. What is your intention that you’re coming in with?

Yes, you’ve got this archetypal energy showing up. Where is it disrupting you in your life from doing what you really want to do?

There’s so many different nuances and aspects that fall into each profile that we would first go through identifying, exactly what is it that’s pushed a button for you or shown up as a red flag, and then I would work from there and then you’ll find that you carry on, we do the sessions however many that we determine that need to be done and other things will evolve and yes, your archetypal energy will change.

And you’re at number 24, The Staller, you get to number 27, that’s where you kind of, it’s not Nirvana and you never have another challenge in your life again, yet you’re at a different place with being able to be more of a Chaos Disruptor yourself because you’ll have the tools to do that for you on a moment to moment basis and yet you will also be a conscious creator of your reality.

First, we need to meet and face our fears. And once we’ve done that, we can create a new reality because otherwise we’re just creating reality from the same fear program we were creating before.

And like Einstein said, which is one of my favorite quotes,

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

You know, I’m going, yeah, well, let’s find a way how we can end that pattern and let’s put you in charge of your own life because we each of us have what we need inside to be the conscious creators of our own life.

And we can only do that when we’ve met and faced our subconscious fears.

Intuitive Intelligence Tapping

[00:26:52] Lauren Kinghorn: Absolutely. That’s amazing. So you mentioned a lot of tools in your toolbox and one of them is EFT tapping, right?

[00:27:00] Sibylle Stehli: Yes. However, not the mainstream tapping that’s out there. In the Institute for Intuitive Intelligence, we go through intensive training, with Angelique Adams, who, is qualified in EFT tapping.

She went to all the people that normally do it and she’s modified that now specifically for us to become intuitively intelligent, right?

We all have intuition. We know that, right? And intuition is something that we drop in and out of. And we tend to go to our intuition when our life is not working and we can’t seem to fix everything. And then we go, well, there must be another answer. And then we think about going to meditation, find out what that is, right?

So intuition in itself is just the state we drop in and out of all of the time, whereas Intuitive Intelligence is a state of being that we are operating from all of the time. Where we are operating as that empowered sovereign self that is leading and directing our lives.

And that is consciously co-creating our reality. So the way that Angelique has changed mainstream Tapping, is to be able to bring it into that Intuitive Intelligence way of working with it. So, it uses the same points and it does the same thing, she’s added in some other things, but it’s in the way that we work with it and that we do it, and the modifications that she’s made, because it is her modality.

Intuitive Intelligence Tapping, is Angelique Adams’ modality. She’s adapted it.

And I know because I’ve been through two of the programs already as a method practitioner and as a trainer and now I’m currently in an 18 month spiritual directorship where we are getting even more trained in a lot of the tools and she’s busy teaching us with that as well. It’s an incredible experience.

[00:29:03] Lauren Kinghorn: Sounds intensive.

[00:29:06] Sibylle Stehli: 18 months and you’ve got to write a thesis and on top of everything else you’re doing in your life.  It’s not a small ask, you know.

Positive Intelligence

[00:29:15] Lauren Kinghorn:  Wow, a lot going on. Wow. And you touched on something there that reminds me of something I’ve just studied called Positive Intelligence.

Have you come across Positive Intelligence?

[00:29:28] Sibylle Stehli: No, I haven’t heard of that specifically.

[00:29:30] Lauren Kinghorn: You mentioned the saboteurs, so in positive intelligence, Shirzad Chamine, who created it has identified 10 saboteurs that we all have. And there’s a little assessment you can do as well to find out, which are your top saboteurs. So he says The Judge (Saboteur), everyone has.

If you’re interested, I can just send you that assessment. I don’t know if it’s different to your 13 archetypes, the 10 saboteurs are not really archetypes. They are just when we are in the Survival brain, all the fears that come up and the saboteurs that come up and what he’s been teaching us is something called PQ reps or positive intelligence quotient reps.

So they much like doing reps in the gym to build your muscle, this now builds your prefrontal cortex of the brain and atrophies your survival brain. So it’s a really nice thing that would work hand in hand with what you’re doing because you’re shedding the light on what those are.

It really helps people to build the mental fitness, the habits of interrupting their saboteurs every time they come up, and then acting differently, acting from the sage brain, acting from the prefrontal cortex or left brain instead of acting from the survival brain.

[00:30:45] Sibylle Stehli: Interesting. He’s got 10 saboteurs, in the Institute for intuitive intelligence, we work with 13 archetypes, both the male and the female forms. And then I’ve got 27 in as The Chaos Disruptor. So, there’s a progression going here also. And it is always interesting.

I’m always open to listening to or reading something new or coming across something new because, you know, what I’m saying is, is not brand new. It’s just that I’m doing it in a different way. We’ve all heard, we know about our saboteurs.  Caroline Myss has got her different archetypes and how they all relate and which one you’re in.

And they’re all just different energies that are coming up at certain points in our lives to wake us up, to show us something, to teach us something, and they’ll keep shouting louder and louder and louder until we take notice.

I think we’ve all found that, we kind of go,

No, not now too busy, you know, too busy. Leave me alone.

And then the little nudge or the little shock gets a lot louder until we gain to listen.

And for me, it was because I was so shut down on so many levels, it took a really hard wake up call. Like I had to be able to shake me out of that. Right. Yeah. So, all of them, all of us, whatever I believe is whoever, whatever they’re doing out there, it’s all here to serve the greater good.

And we all bring it across in our way because we have certain people that we’re going to be working with all that, that resonate with what we’re saying in the way that we saying it. And it’s amazing. I love it because there’s just such a diversity which is so empowering that we know that there is so much support out there.

I mean, in contrast, if you think in 2000, I came across the Brandon Bays Journey Work. And there was Reiki healing at the time. Those are the two things I started my practice off with besides a wing and a prayer, right? But those were two things I started my practice. That was all that there was available at the time.

We didn’t have then all the modalities we have now, it was a completely different ball game in the healing world then.

Our Archetypes and Their Light and Shadow Form

[00:32:53] Lauren Kinghorn: You’re right. Yeah, they are so many modalities. The other thing I wanted to touch on is I loved what you said about the archetypes, that there’s the light and the shadow form.

In positive intelligence, we learn that our saboteurs developed out of our survival because , as a child, we learned to be the pleaser or act the victim or do any of these things because It serves us. So there was a time where it did serve us.

And then there comes a time where it no longer serves us. And it also reminds me of the enneagrams, because I remember with the enneagrams, you learn very specifically that there is what it is when it’s in balance and what it is when it’s out of balance.

And so that’s what I’m fascinated about, because I think the reason we hold on to them so tightly, even when they no longer serving us is because we still so attracted to the positive, we still holding on to what was positive about them.

And that’s why they’re hard to let them go.  When they become damaging and negative and harmful to us, it really helps to know when they did serve us, how they served us.

[00:34:01] Sibylle Stehli: Yes. And, the archetypal energies is like that as well.

Like in the session I took you through, your first one, is we first got the fear, but then we identified which archetype it was associated with and what the shadow aspects of that archetype were. Because this fear and this shadow energy is working together in this way to disrupt your system and do these behaviors and sabotaging in this way.

But then at the end, once we’ve done the healing in the Akash, we access the light form of an archetype that’s going to work with you going forward and it’s not necessarily the same one that showed up as its shadow form. It could be a totally different one, which 99 percent of the time it is. And you get guidance from that light form as into what to put in place now.

And it’s about that reconciliation.

Look, we live in a world of duality, right? There’s light and dark. There’s good and bad. There’s hot and cold. There’s whatever.

And so we are a combination of light and dark. It’s pure spiritual bypassing if we’re only focusing on the love and light because that’s not just who we are.

We are the duality of shadow and light and it’s how to learn to dance and play in those energies.

When they are here in the shadow, what are you showing me right now? What fear do I have that I haven’t looked at yet? What has my lesson that I haven’t learned yet? You know, talk to me. Why are you here?

And then we can say. Okay, great. Thank you. I have my lesson now.

So what are the positive ways I can now start moving forward in my life from here? And doing the forgiveness and the gratitude for yourself, for having the courage to look at that number one and number two, for whatever that was that came to you and showed you what you are now ready to hear and see, and go and shift.

So really, embracing it as parts of us, just because we have shadow forms doesn’t mean we’re a bad person. We all have shadow forms. We all have light forms of these different energies.

And it’s about being able to sit in the discomfort and then have the gratitude for what it’s teaching and then go play in the bliss and joy that comes after that. That’s when we create the new reality, right?

[00:36:23] Lauren Kinghorn: Yeah, I love that.

Yes. I’m a big believer in focusing on the rightness instead of the wrongness of something, because you can shout no as much as you like, at something, and it just grows. And it is about that shifting and shining the light on it and seeing where what was good about it and what you really, really want.  And then moving into that new phase.

[00:36:51] Sibylle Stehli: It’s about how it has served you up until now. And I always go,

Okay, I’m letting you go and I’m firing you from your job. You’re free to go. You’re on a retirement package.

I’ve got now somebody new that’s coming to take your place.

And I had to work with it very literally in my world, just how my world works, but I literally fired them from their job and said,

You’re now on a retirement package, go and enjoy.

And then I employed the light form and I said,

Right, you’re in charge. Now let’s work together.

So for me, that was just a really playful way when I was in those deep dark depths of hell, literally coming out of all of what I had to come out of. That was what I had to do so that I could give myself permission to let go everything I’d held on so tightly, nearly. made me end my life. And it was a huge process of years of learning to let go.

And it felt really good when I’d learned my lesson to fire that whatever it was and say, right, I’m moving forward in a new way. It was part of that growth and that, and that learning and, and starting to know that it just is what it is.

It’s been here to serve me. And I’ve got a new energy serving me going forward. And that in itself is an evolution and a transformation and an evolving all of its own.

Sibylle’s Gypsy Journey

[00:38:14] Lauren Kinghorn: I know when I met you at Xtraordinary Women (we used to have all those lovely breakfast meetings). And when I met you, you were also going through a really hard time in your life then, there was a time where you were homeless and next thing I heard you were living on a yacht and having the most amazing time.

[00:38:32] Sibylle Stehli: I wasn’t actually living on the yacht. I just used to go sailing with a friend of mine and her husband. But in that time when you and I met, I was in the middle of going through bankruptcy and I had to give up my home. I had no money.

And People would just show up and say, well, I’ve got a place to stay. Or, I’ve got a holiday flat you can have for two weeks. We’re not here. We’re going away. So you’re welcome, no bookings. You’re welcome to use it.

And there were all these beautiful blessings that came in, but yes, that was at a time when I was on my gypsy journey. And part of that journey was literally living in my car sometimes because I had nowhere else to go.

And, also there, going through another level because I had to break a generational legacy of poverty and bankruptcy. And I didn’t know it then, but my dad shared that he’d gone bankrupt almost three times, twice, yes, and almost the third time.

And I did come to stay to live with my parents for a while. And in all that I was busy healing, it helped them heal as well. So, it was about healing this legacy of poverty and bankruptcy and all of that for the whole family. And it was done through me.

So I had to go through it. And I just said, well, when he said he went twice and almost a third time, I said,

Well, I’m stopping that boat right there. Once is enough for me. I’m learning my lesson this time.

And yes, it’s been a seven year journey and it’s over now and I’m building up a new life.

So it’s great. But, yeah, there went to seven year cycle that I didn’t see coming.

As Within, So Without

[00:40:02] Lauren Kinghorn: Wow. So I can understand also with all of that history that you didn’t know of, I can understand how you reached the point that you reached in 2000 because you were carrying that as an empath.  You were probably carrying all of that, all of that drama that you didn’t even know existed, but it was sitting in your psyche. You must’ve felt it.

[00:40:31] Sibylle Stehli: And it is like the work of Bruce Lipton and Dr. Joe Dispenza and those who also say that we have that in us, and it’s our environment that then will bring that out.

But the thing is that, yes, the things are carried down. Those legacies are carried down, in the generations and they are in our DNA.

And then there is beautiful work that can be done to clear that from our DNA and also clear it from the generations going forward.

So everything I cleared for myself, I cleared for my two children and their children’s children and all of that going forward so that those legacies stop here with me.

I made the choice that those legacies are going to stop here with me and there were many of them. They’re going to stop.

The buck stops here and I’m setting my children free.

I set myself free and I set my children free as well so that they don’t have to go through that same generational pain and live that out in their lives. And they’re not, thank goodness. They’re thriving and flourishing and yeah.

So I’m very grateful. It does work. It literally works.

Sibylle’s Divorce and Healing Journey

[00:41:30] Lauren Kinghorn: That must be so wonderful to see.

[00:41:32] Sibylle Stehli: The reason I got divorced and left the abusive marriage was because I could see how my children were shutting down and that they were not going to realize their potential in life just because of everything they’d taken on through our marriage being so dysfunctional.

And my prayer was that I could free them as well and then allow them to live lives at their full potential, whatever that may look like, whatever they want to do. And they’ve gone on to do that and I’m very proud of them. And the one thing I’m really grateful for is that my two children and I are the best of friends and they know that there’s an unconditional space here where they can come and share anything and it will be okay.

I have no judgment or anything against them for anything. It’s just okay. So they have that unconditional acceptance. And I can’t even describe how, we have video calls cause they’re in the UK in London and we had those video calls and we’ll be in tears and I’m helping them, they’re helping me.

We’re still healing together on some levels and to have that openness, when your children are between the ages of 25 and 30, it’s really magical to have that, and that was my prayer. Let us come out of this divorce as better people. and let me repair my relationship with my children that they can literally come to me with anything.

I want to be best friends with my kids and have the most awesome times with them. And that literally has become true.

So I’m forever grateful for that day where I whispered goodbye into their rooms and it didn’t happen because now, I can be there for me and for them when we need it.

[00:43:16] Lauren Kinghorn: That is incredible. And at what point were they aware of you wanting to take your life?  Was it only when they grew up and you wrote the book?

[00:43:25] Sibylle Stehli: Yes. They didn’t know about any of that going on inside me, they didn’t know about any of that. We’ve had to have conversations around that because when I did launch my book, I gifted each of them a book and I wrote them a message and they were both, they had no idea that was what I was going through.

They just unconditionally loved me, no matter how overweight I was, no matter how miserable I was, no matter. I mean, talk about overweight, I was really overweight and I really didn’t look good.

Both my children just unconditionally loved me and it was such a shock for them to realize what I’d gone through. They just knew Mom had to go to the doctor and I went for Reiki healing and I was eating differently and I started looking at life differently and yet somehow that empowered them and help them.

So my healing journey was like a living example for them of what somebody can overcome. But no, they were not aware of that until they read the book. And it was like, okay, mom, we really need to talk to you,

Was that really what was going on?  We didn’t know.

It shocked them to a degree. And yet it also woke them up that you can never tell what’s going on inside of someone else.

[00:44:42] Lauren Kinghorn: Yeah, your own mother. Shoo.

[00:44:43] Sibylle Stehli: We can never know what is going on inside someone else’s world. We can never.

And if we assume that we know we’re just being arrogant. So we can never know.

And that was a big lesson for me, when they shared that and how they felt about it and how rattled they were because they didn’t know about any of that.

I said (to my children),

Well, imagine you’re rattled now, it would have just destroyed you right there and then. I was still the mom that you woke up and said, I love you every day.  So that was what was important at the time, you didn’t need to know that then.

[00:45:15] Lauren Kinghorn: Of course. And were you ever able to express your gratitude to your ex husband for saving your life? Literally?

[00:45:22] Sibylle Stehli: Yes, we have spoken about all of that. And we came to peace around that as well. That was a lot of our healing journey that he could start understanding what was really going on for me.

And then it also became aware of how dysfunctional our marriage really was and time evolved until that could be dissolved. And then, I could thank him for that. And then he actually came to me and thanked me for having the courage to go through the divorce because he was prepared to carry on with the same old status quo, like it always was.

And I said (to my husband),

Well, that wasn’t good enough for me. And it wasn’t good enough for the kids.  And I knew it wasn’t good enough for you. There’s something better for you out there.

And so it was almost like a reciprocity in that sense, is he did [save me].  And then I saved all of us, saved all of us when I initiated the divorce, which was really challenging.

But I initiated that because I knew that then that was the blessing that we all needed so that we could all go to our full potentials and move on in our lives with what we needed to do.  And it was not going to be through staying together just because that was the way it was always done.

[00:46:28] Lauren Kinghorn: Exactly. Shoo. The Courage to Be Me. Amazing. And your weight loss journey. Because I’m sure there’s a lot of people out there who also want to know how you went from being that overweight to being as slim as you are now.

You look like the epitome of health.

Sibylle’s Weight Loss Journey

[00:46:47] Sibylle Stehli: That was a long journey. So I did try with very many things.

Look, the really interesting thing is, and they’ve proved it now in science as well, what we knew then already, is that I was so shut down in my body, my body was literally starting to shut down.

And the area of my body that was impacted the most was the digestive system, specifically in the colon area.

And my homeopath then put me on a health protocol. So I had to go for colon hydrotherapy and I had to take supplements and I had to go on to a specific diet. And, she also sent me to somebody she was working with who was a Reiki Master.

And she picked up that I already had colon cancer in my energy field.

And she said, Sibylle, if you didn’t come to me now, and I saw you six months down the line, you would have had to come to me because you had cancer of the colon.

So I was really, I was 72 kilos. I was like way overweight. It was like, it was radical.

And I was just thinking before this interview, maybe I need to share those photos as well, because it’s the photo of then and the photo at my 50th.

And you really literally would not say it was the same person. So I tried a lot of different things, but the main thing was to get my body to literally start coming back to life because so much of it was busy shutting down and it will be different for everybody.

I don’t prescribe a certain health regime for anybody.

I went through another health crisis there when I was going through just around the time of the bankruptcy. I had urticara, which is a skin condition. And I had all the forms. So you get two different forms and a side effect. I got all of it. It’s where the body literally comes out in this rash.

And when I met you at Xtraordinary Women, I was on a very specific breakfast diet because I was literally living on 20 ingredients for a year so that we could get all my allergen levels to come down. Which we did in 11 months.

I was working with someone with tissue salts and having that as well.

I needed to actually go vegan. So I’m now vegan and there were a lot of things I gave up along the way.

I gave up, I used to smoke weed sometimes, I drank quite heavily, especially when I was a student and then when the marriage wasn’t working, that was also picking up. So I had to let the alcohol go.

And so eventually, now I’m a vegan and I don’t have any alcohol or anything like that anymore.

So it’s developed into something and I’ve realized in helping other people through becoming an Iridologist, I was helping other people with their health and weight issues.

And I realized there is no one plan that fits all. And it’s not about a diet.

It’s not about,

Oh, I’m going to change my habits for this month. Then I’m going to go back to the way I ate before.

I mean, what’s the point, right?

So I started looking at what do I need to do for myself and my body? That is part of my natural, normal, everyday lifestyle.

And I had to start curating that. And that was a process in itself. Like, we also now, compared to the year 2000 or 2010, 2015, we have a lot more technology and a lot more research available around our bodies and health and all of this.

So for me, it’s about curating an eating and a health and a well being lifestyle that will support me in the work and whatever it is I want to do in my life.

[00:50:25] Lauren Kinghorn: So what’s very interesting to me and also what you’ve said in your story is that before you even got to the point of wanting to end your life, in your head, your body was already starting to do it.

Your body was already coming to the point of, okay, I’m going to give her colon cancer and she’ll go that way.

So because these things are so embedded, it’s really interesting how the body works, because we think it’s all in the mind, but it’s all linked, isn’t it? It’s mind, emotion, body, spirit. It’s all one thing.

[00:51:01] Sibylle Stehli: Yeah. Because we are all of that.

[00:51:04] Lauren Kinghorn: Yes. Yeah. So our body will do it for us if we can’t have the courage to do it or to shift it and you were able to shift it so that your body then no longer manifested the cancer, which is incredible.

[00:51:20] Sibylle Stehli: Isn’t that why a lot of us go through these health crises?

We’ll have an accident that stops us in our tracks. We’re lying in bed, we can’t move for four months.

We will have the cancer or we will have some other illness or we will lose a loved one or a home or anything like that.

God Has Another Plan

And it’s like, okay, you haven’t wanted to listen up until now, well, I’ve got to take drastic action now.

And you’re right. It’s either through some outside event. Or it’s going to happen through the body itself.

Your soul has the plan.

And if you’re not going to listen, it’s going to smack you and work with you until you listen.

If it’s not your time to go, Lauren, it’s not your time to go. You still have to be here.  And that was how it was for me.

As deeply as I desired to take my car off Chapman’s Peak, that’s how much my soul and even more wanted me to stay.

I was not done here yet. Even though I felt on all levels, I was done, and my body was saying, you are done.

That was not the plan.

Me being here and having this conversation with you was part of the plan. Yes. I didn’t know it. And writing the book.  Everything turned out, what I’ve experienced so that I can help others.

That was the plan, not getting in my car, never coming home. That was never the plan.

But it was the wake up call I needed. That was my perfect interrupt.

[00:52:54] Lauren Kinghorn: And you listened to that still inner voice, that voice that got you to, instead of reaching for the keys, reach for the phone. You just had to be that tiny little bit open to hearing that there was maybe a different option.

[00:53:08] Sibylle Stehli: And it wasn’t even that I heard something at that moment, it was literally as I went for the keys, my hand went on the phone.

It was literally like my hand was being redirected onto the phone and that was that, that pattern interrupt was, I’m like, Oh, but I’ve planned this, it’s the keys, not the phone.

But the two were lying next to each other that morning, which usually was not the case. But my hand literally went in for the keys and I found it on the phone. And that was the moment of that pattern interrupt. I’m going. like, Okay. That’s not the plan. And then all that unfolded like it in my story, but that all happened in like a split second.

Sounds like it took a long time, but that was a split second, but it was literally, it did that.

And it was literally like my soul took my hand, or God, whatever that force is, it’s all the same, onto the phone.

And that was the defining moment out of everything. So. It was only in looking back and going into that memory and having it play out and seeing exactly what happened is that I could bring it into that one moment.

And we don’t know, if we’re not listening, we don’t know what that defining moment is going to be.

Are we present enough, that little bit more present enough than normal to take notice? 

Because if we don’t, we’re going to get hit with a little bit of a louder wake up call, and maybe if I hadn’t listened in that moment, okay, I wouldn’t have been here, but then colon cancer would have come up.

If it hadn’t turned out that way, like you said, the cancer would have manifested in my body. And somehow that was not going to be part of the plan. If I listened.

I’m Here. I’m Home. I’ve Found My Dharma.

[00:54:52] Lauren Kinghorn: And here you are doing the work you were born to do. Is that how it feels right now? Is this it?  You’ve found your path?

[00:55:00] Sibylle Stehli: Yeah.

What they say is you’ve found your Dharma. 

You’ve found that which you’ve been given as a gift that you can now give back to life, as a gift.

And that is literally the way I see it.

It’s not me that’s doing the work it’s whoever I’m working with and that force that’s greater than us.  Call it God, call it Universe, call it Spirit, whatever. Whatever that plan is.

And the two of us working in this co-creative dance together and everybody that we interact with is that is now what I’m here for.

Where it never felt grounded or that I was home in who I was. I’m here. I’m home. I’m grounded. This is how I am of service.

I  have been blessed so immeasurably that I want to just share those blessings and gifts with the world now and help others to access that what I’ve been able to find within myself.

[00:55:55] Lauren Kinghorn: Beautiful. Wow. That is amazing.

[00:55:59] Sibylle Stehli: It led me to this beautiful conversation with you. So for that, I am really deeply grateful.

[00:56:05] Lauren Kinghorn: Thank You, Thank YOU for sessions that led to this beautiful conversation. I’m just so grateful that I have a way that I can repay you for what you gave me. Very beautiful. Thank you so, so much.

I think people are going to absolutely love this interview.

[00:56:24] Sibylle Stehli: Thank you for the opportunity and thank you for sitting as a case study. Because it was a little bit more raw form then.

[00:56:34] Lauren Kinghorn: No, honestly, you felt like an old pro. When I was in those sessions with you, you’re completely grounded.

You are centered and there was no part of me that thought you were doing a practice session.

It didn’t feel like that at all because I think you’d already cemented this work so much. You’d already done the Reiki and you’re an old hat at this.  You’ve learned a new modality, but you already were a healer.

And now you’ve taken it to a whole another level where you’ve come up with your own modality, which is amazing. So exciting. I

can’t wait to see where that goes. Do you think there’s another book in you?

[00:57:12] Sibylle Stehli: Oh, yes. That’s being written. I committed to writing a book in the first six months of next year as my thesis for the spiritual directorship.

So, I have voiced out that I am going to be doing, and it’s interesting, when I made that decision, I had something else planned for this thesis, for the post grad diploma, and that just got taken and away, and no. You’re not doing that anymore. And then the one morning in meditation, I got the front cover of the book.

I’ve got the title. I’ve got everything. I’ve got the ISBN number. I’ve got everything already. So it’s all set and I will be writing it in the first six months of next year. So I’m actually also really keen to see what’s going to be written in that book.

[00:57:57] Lauren Kinghorn: Very exciting. I can’t wait to see, I’d love to, I want to be that person who knows now all of the 27.

Characteristics of the chaos disruptor or whatever you’re going to call them. I want to know all of them. I’m so interested. So I could see you teaching other people this work, and it’s going to go places. This is amazing. It’s just really exciting. It’s called a methodology, right? A modality or methodology.

[00:58:28] Sibylle Stehli: It’s more a methodology. And yes, there is a progress from number one through to number 27. And like I said, 27 isn’t Nirvana and you never have a challenge in your life again. You just at a really different place. And I’m kind of getting the sense that there’s something evolving from this.

Once you get to 27 and then there’s a follow on phase. So I’ll wait and see what that is. I’ve got this now and let’s just play with this for a while. And then, yes, let’s see where it goes because clearly there’s magic here to be shared and I’m a big believer in magic and a big believer in miracles and clearly that is here to be shared.

And there’s a plan. And it’s from somewhere greater than me. And I’m here to follow that, to carry out that plan, whatever that may be. I just know that I’ve come home. I’ve literally come home where I’ve never been at home before. I have now come home in a way that is definitely not what I thought it was going to be, and that’s more than okay.

So yeah, the rest is now, I’ll keep you posted because the rest is now an adventure as much for me as it will be for anybody else. So I will be, now more active again on social media and everything, which I haven’t been for a while. And I will be sharing some things. I’ll choose an archetype and I will share some things and there’ll be Things that I can share with people that will help them along their path.

And even that is an evolving journey now and through my newsletter and things, I want to empower people as much as possible, give them as much as I possibly can to help them for wherever they’re at. And let’s see, I think these 27 archetypes are ready to play with us. We’ve just got to be ready to play with them.

So I’m excited to see where it goes.

[01:00:18] Lauren Kinghorn: I want to know what they are. I can’t wait for the book to come out.

Thank you so much, Sibylle, for your time and this amazing interview. Is there any last word of wisdom you’d like to leave or anything you’d like to do just to close up this interview nicely?

[01:00:36] Sibylle Stehli: Thank you too for the interview and for this opportunity to have this amazing conversation. It kind of followed its own lead, which is great. And the only thing I want to say is the phrase I have in my book is that anything is possible. So if when you thinking that there is no way out, literally anything is possible.

And those three words, I would, what I would like to leave everybody with.

[01:01:02] Lauren Kinghorn: Thank you.

Thank you so much. It’s been such a pleasure to talk to you and I can’t wait to get this interview up.

[01:01:09] Sibylle Stehli: Thank you. And, yes, it’s been a fabulous conversation.

So thank you as well.

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